Showing 17 Result(s)

Sunday marks eleven years since I was raped

Dear 13-year-old, One day, you’ll wake up, and you’ll be sad. Not about what happened about your past, really. Sadness about that is inevitable. You’ll be sad about what’s happening in your present, in your current moments. You’ll be sad, but you’ll be afraid to be sad. You’ll sit in his office one day, ok, …

It’s not yours to carry

As I write this, I’m sitting in front of the altar in the sanctuary of my church—the church I attend and the church where I work. Twenty-four hours ago, I told a pastor and close friend that there are some days when I walk into this building I call home and feel like I can’t …

How to stop relying on the approval of others.

I’ll admit that this is something I’m still working on so this might be more for me than for you. I sent her a text the other day, freaking out because I was spiraling. I accidentally texted someone on their day off, and I was convinced they now hated me. She simply replied: “Why does …

This changes everything

Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. JK Rowling I didn’t realize the power of prayer until I was sobbing at the altar, through the prayer, through the closing song, through the benediction. I didn’t realize the power of prayer until I had an army of people surrounding me, and …

Tell me about the rabbits

a letter to my mental health I don’t really spiral as much as I go down a rabbit hole and can’t find my way back, I explained to the psychiatrist who saw me the morning after I went to the ER. I go down a rabbit hole, and I can’t find my way back, and …

living life palms up

finding the will to live amidst the trauma The first thing I learned in therapy was to validate myself–validate the past versions of me that were hurt, validate the parts of myself that are hurting now; another thing I learned while completing the ‘Emotional Regulation’ section of DBT theory, designed to help manage the effects …

This is what healing looks like

“But in the end, one needs more courage to live than to kill himself.” ― Albert Camus I always thought I’d end up killing myself one day; that’s the way I’d go out–swallowing a bottle of pills, driving into a tree, or jumping out a window. So many ways to die; not enough time to execute them …