(Online) Dating as a Trauma Survivor

When you start to get paralyzed, I need you to write about it, my therapist told me during our session on Friday. I need you to write about it because that’s how you process what’s happening, and for too long, you haven’t processed. He’s right. I know he’s right, but writing scares me. Writing scares me because there’s this layer of uncomfortability that comes with each post. Each...

The Town I Grew Up From

What a now-defunct Walgreens taught me about living (originally posted on Medium.com) The town I grew up in has 28,625 people. It's a town my sister left, flying all the way across the country to find herself. (While I chose the more expensive route of hospital stays and therapy.) It's a town full of memories and pain, nostalgia and heartbreak. But mostly, it's full of family. Family...

How to Write For Social Media

According to hootsuite.com, 3.196 billion people now use social media. As a result, it is important that what you write on social media accurately represents your brand. As a social media specialist, here are a few of my top tricks: 1. Get social Interact with your audience. Don't let the conversation be one-sided. This can be as simple as 'liking' comments, but it could also be replying to...

Sunday marks eleven years since I was raped

Dear 13-year-old, One day, you'll wake up, and you'll be sad. Not about what happened about your past, really. Sadness about that is inevitable. You'll be sad about what's happening in your present, in your current moments. You'll be sad, but you'll be afraid to be sad. You'll sit in his office one day, ok, many days actually, his diplomas hanging on the wall, next to the bookcase on your left....

To the Graduates on the Eve of Graduation

Photo by Baim Hanif on Unsplash Dear friends, you made it. And I wish I had words of advice for you, but I don't. Not really; there's a bunch of things I'm still trying to figure out for myself, about myself, about life and adulthood. But this I know: you made it. You made it, with friends by your side, family cheering you on, and laughter in your heart. With tears in your eyes,...

Minding the Gap

A millennial's perspective on church and authenticity Photo by Joshua Ness on Unsplash There's something really wrong with a church when the message sounds more like an advertisement for the church than about being drawn closer to God, when worship is the best part of the morning, and the message snaps you out of the presence of God. You've heard it many times before, seen the research many...

It’s not yours to carry

As I write this, I’m sitting in front of the altar in the sanctuary of my church—the church I attend and the church where I work. Twenty-four hours ago, I told a pastor and close friend that there are some days when I walk into this building I call home and feel like I can’t be here—shouldn’t be here. I’m too broken, too bruised, too shattered. But this is a sanctuary—a literal...

On Following Your Dreams in a World of Salaries

Following your dreams can be expensive. It can take a long time to gather up the courage to start working towards them, especially when you have a fear of failure. Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels Following your dreams doesn't always pay the bills, so sometimes it's about finding the balance between the two. In other words, adulting. Adulting is difficult for many reasons. For one, money....

How to stop relying on the approval of others.

I'll admit that this is something I'm still working on so this might be more for me than for you. Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash I sent her a text the other day, freaking out because I was spiraling. I accidentally texted someone on their day off, and I was convinced they now hated me. She simply replied: "Why does his approval matter so much to you?" The fact of the matter is, it's not just...

Practical tips for living on your own for the first time

Don't check yourself into the psych ward if you still have dirty dishes in the sink. You'll come back 48 hours later with a crusty layer of dried chicken on your hand-me-down plate. But by then, it won't be your mess to deal with; your sister has volunteered to do the dishes.Do your dishes every night. Or, at the very least, rinse them off after use. Don't let more than two days worth sit in the...